New Shoes?

I have been blessed in my life with a friend, a best friend, for going on 27 years. Calling her a friend is such an understatement. She's more like the other half of me that walks around and does stuff without me. I'd call her my soul mate, but that sounds a little too spousey. I've taken to calling her her my Soul Friend. I can't imagine a life where she wasn't my touchstone. We've been keepin' it real since long before people started saying keepin' it real.

We met in high school. She sat next to me for the first two periods of the day. It was the 80s, and to give you some frame of reference she was sort of a cool & sexy "Express Yourself Madonna" and I was more of a colorful "She Bop Cyndi Lauper" trainwreck . On the surface, we didn't seem to have that much in common. In truth, we started talking that first day of school and, quite frankly, we haven't stopped yet.

Age 16


I gotta be honest, Heather - that's her name - she is really pretty. Like, piss you off pretty. She has a face and a body that stops people in their tracks. She was pretty in her teens. She's pretty in in her 40s. She was pretty all of those years in between. There was approximately 13 days in the mid 1990's where she had a sizable blemish in a prominent location - her nose. I don't want to say I was happy for her misery, but for nearly two weeks the playing field was leveled and I did sort of enjoy it. (Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...)

It wasn't always easy having a knock-out for a bestie. Especially when we were younger and we both placed so much emphasis on what others thought of us. I was always outgoing and smart, but I have struggled with my weight all of my life. No matter how much I prune and preen, I never quite achieve "polished". I have, however, mastered "windblown".

I like to tell a story about going to Bennigans with Heather in the early 90's. (Remember when going to Bennigans made you feel so cool? If so, you're my age or older baby.) We got all Friday'd up and strolled into the bar part of Bennigans. We promptly ran into a guy - an old friend we hadn't seen for a while. He walked over - eyes popping over Heather - smiling and scanning. Here is what he said:

"HEY Heather!!!! Oh my God, you look AMAZING!!! Man it's been a long time, girl you look FANTASTIC!

Then, he glanced at me, did a quick scan and, hand to God, he said:

"Hey, Stacia. New shoes?"

Friends, that moment, that scan, that sentence... defined the next 10 years of my life. I can laugh about it now, but at that moment, it hurt me down to my off-white pumps (Don't judge, it was 90s).

Here's the irony. I remember every detail of that night with vivid recall. What I wore, what I ordered, what he said. But I can not tell you who "he" was. It's like my brain has erased him. Probably for the best, as I might hold a grudge.

Heather has never acted like a "pretty girl". If you close your eyes and just listen to her, you'd swear she was your run of the mill homely-girl-with-a-great-personality. And as we've gotten older, and grown closer, we've peeled off all the superficial layers. I don't even see her with my eyes anymore, I see her with my heart. I know she sees me the same way. The more we let go, break down the walls, take off our armor - the more we love each other.

Although, if there is a merciful God, we are about due for another blemish.

Age 40