Friday, July 1, 2011

That's What I Want

I will be 42 years old in September. Some days I feel really old. Some days I feel really young. Most days I feel about right.

It's hard for today's generation to imagine what life was like when I was growing up. We lived a life without computers, phones (for several years we didn't even have a land line), internet, cable, iPods, movies on demand, or camcorders. We had one car, one TV, one bathroom and no microwave. Most moms I knew didn't work outside of the home and I had only one friend whose parents were divorced (scandalous!).

The joy of our summer involved loading up into our family's Pinto Station Wagon and heading out to the farm to visit my Uncle Johnny and Aunt Suzanne and their eight children. Can you imagine? Eight kids, three bedrooms, one bathroom, and one income. And they didn't even have a reality show! They lived down the gravel lane from my Uncle Gene and Aunt Judy and their four kids. They had a big house and a trampoline that was level with the ground - built over a hole. So you could jump and jump and never fall off. Genius.

We would arrive at Johnny and Suzanne's house - jump out of the station wagon (quickly, because we were unencumbered by seatbelts) and run free. My cousin Tabatha and I were the same age and best friends since age 5. When I was really little, we lived on the East coast and when I was in Kindergarten we moved "back home" to Iowa. I remember the DAY I met her. She stood there, skinny and sorta quiet with tan skin and straight brown hair. I walked over to her with my pale skin, chubby cheeks and big laugh. I hugged her and pronounced us "Best Friends". And so, we were. Still are.

Tabatha and I would quickly take off and try to find a place where no one could find us. We were always hiding from older, annoying big brothers and cousins and ditching the younger ones. We climbed trees, hid behind the bushes, ran into the barn. When my uncle would line up giant bails of hay in the field, we could play "tag" on top of them - jumping from one bail to the next. Without fail, the older ones would shove us in between two bails and leave us screaming for help because we were too short to climb out. In the summertime, we swam in the above ground pool. It was actually a horse trough filled with hose water. And we LOVED it. At night we played Kick the Can or caught fireflies in Butternut coffee cans. Before we came in the house, in order to knock down the first layer of dirt we were often given a preliminary shower in the yard, via the ice cold hose. Then we all took baths - 3 at a time. If someone had to use the facilities while you were in the bath, the rule was to cover your privates with a wash rag.

Evening was when the real fun began. We kids played in the bedrooms - we did a lot of make believe. We did "plays" for the adults; we played church complete with communion wafers we made out of flattened Wonder Bread. I often swiped a Velour robe from my Aunt Suzanne and wore it in my role as "Priest". Even then I was a women's libber. ha ha

The bathroom had two doors. One went into the bedroom where we played and one that led into the kitchen where the adults were. Tabatha and I would often peek out into the kitchen and spy on the adults.

We'd see all the grown ups gathered around the kitchen table... ashtrays & beverages overflowing. There was usually a radio on and sometimes even a little dancing. Games or cards came out at times. Mostly I remember the laughing and the animated, lively conversation. It seemed like someone was always telling a funny story. This was more than family, this was friendship at its finest. These were all the people I loved most gathered around a vinyl covered table. As a little girl, peering into that 1970s kitchen, I remember thinking "When I grow up, that's what I want. I want to be a mommy. I want to laugh and dance and tell stories with my family. I want to be cool and groovy and stay up late. That's what I want."

Today, we laid my Aunt Suzanne to rest. Five years ago, she suffered a severe brain aneurysm. Since then, she'd been unable to walk, one arm was paralyzed, she lost her ability to speak for the most part. She required around the clock personal and medical care. During the past five years, her husband took perfect and constant care of her. He put his own needs on hold. He remained by her side ten to twelve hours a day. He fed her, talked to her, bathed her, took her on field trips. He never wavered. Never complained. He was a dedicated and loving spouse upholding his end of the marriage vows each and every day. He never lost hope, never gave up. He was a true example of what marriage is and should be.

In her final days, her weak body got pneumonia and simply was not strong enough to fight anymore. Finally, the pain left her body and she gracefully and beautifully went to her Heavenly rest. Her husband John by her side. Even in death, he stroked her cheek and kissed her goodbye. They'd been together for 56 years. Till death do us part? Not even close. Long past death, they will be together. How could they not be?

As I watched my Uncle Johnny at the funeral... surrounded by his eight children, their spouses, his eighteen grandchildren & great grandchildren... and seated to the right of his beloved wife's casket.... I could FEEL the love in the air. I am not being dramatic. It made the hair on my arms stand up. It was, and is, a love story for the ages. And I thought to myself...

"That's what I want."

Who wouldn't want that?

Rest in peace, Aunt Suzanne.


(carved in the back of her teenage bedroom vanity)

16 comments:

  1. Okay Stacia....thought I was done crying but this was well worth it~wow~THOSE WERE THE DAYS MY FRIEND, WE THOUGHT THEY'D NEVER END~WE'D SING AND DANCE FOREVER & AGAIN :) XO

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  2. That was a wonderful story Stacia, thank you for sharing that with those of us who knew them also. It was always a thrill for me to go to the Carlson's. Rest in peace Ms. Suzanne! Love to the family. Now party and dance like Suzanne would have wanted you too!

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  3. "That's what I want"

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  4. Wonderful story Stacia. I said the same thing to Gina after seeing the slide show--the love shining in Johnny's eyes when looking at Suzanne in EVERY picture was palpable--and envious.

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  5. Well said Stacia. Thank you for sharing your memories. ~marie

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  6. What a beautiful tribute to your aunt and uncle. Precious, my friend.

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  7. jeanne richardsonJuly 1, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    absolute perfection....although i didn't know suzanne..i know johnny...and in hearing him speak of his wife...love was always evident! what a wonderful woman she must have been, because her children (that were closer to my age) were wonderful, caring, charismatic, and just terrific! thank you for sharing your memories...

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  8. oh what sweeeet comments!!! their daughter, Tiffany

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  9. Beautiful story, Stacia.

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  10. That's what I want too my friend. I'm so sorry youv'e lost your Aunt. That's when our memories serve us best.....to take us back there. Gigi

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  11. Your descriptions are fabulous, I could completely visualize myself back there again on the farm.

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  12. You just described my childhood to a perfect T! I absolutely love how you describe things SO vividly I "FEEL" the words. Thank you for the sentimental trip down memory lane and the heartwarming story of what TRUE LOVE is all about. I want that too...

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  13. Mary Helen said...

    We had so many fun times,my uncle Chet was Suzanne's uncle also,he would give me a dime and if my friend was there she got one too.Thanks for all you had to share,I loved my childhood days with Suzanne so many people have good friends but I had the best,my love goes out to Johnnie,and all the family.

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  14. Stacia,This is so awesome! Describes our childhood & my mom & dad's love for each other perfectly!I wish mom could have met Daniel,He reminds me of my dad in many ways.He loves me the way dad loved mom.When mom got ill,I saw the dedication & love dad had for mom & I thought the exact same thing you said.."That's what I want" Now i have it with Daniel.:)

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  15. I needed this today! It takes me back too Stacia, but in the next generation. I lived in that same house from 5 years to 10 years old, and I did all of those things too!! Thanks, and love you! Chevonne

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  16. Beautiful and loving memories...I am blessed to call them all my friends. I will always cherish those memories of this special family...Linda (alias...Lydia) <3


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